Christmas Celebration

One thing I love about being a Lutheran Protestant is that Christmas Day is not the end of the Christmas celebration but rather is the beginning of 12 days of celebration that run through Epiphany.

Indeed, the entire year as defined by the liturgical calendar is a celebration of Emmanuel: God is with us. This is the truly distinctive and amazing truth of the Christian faith. God Himself has entered this world taking on flesh and living among us incarnate. The Word has become flesh. Jesus, true God and true Man. This is the ultimate present, His very presence.

Can't???

While out and about last night with our Wing Commander visiting the airmen pulling the night shifts around our base, our conversation moved to the subject of how our airmen do incredible performance on a constant basis. There were so many examples: defenders standing the wire in good spirits in the midst of a blustering cold wind, a MSgt (select) who gave his airmen the night off standing the duty shift himself, airmen coming in bringing Turkey dinners to those who were working and spending time with them to help the night move quicker... Young folks - huge work ethic!

I love the American work ethic. It is still alive and well in the Air Force. But our folks are human beings too. They get tired. They get stressed. Sometimes life hits them hard. Sometimes they have challenges. Yesterday I worked with an incredible airman who life has just sort of piled onto. I told her what I tell many folks, the first key is to not quit, never give up. And don't even think about the word "can't".

I truly believe we "can" do a lot more than we think we can. A story I enjoy telling, not to brag on myself, but rather to say that if I, an average human being - nothing special, can do this then all folks can do this. God creates us all unique and gifted with an emphasis on gifted. No one is good as everything, but we are all good at something and probably multiple somethings. One goal we all share is to find out what that is, maximize its potential, and use it to serve others and the one's we love.

Character development. Self-development. Reaching our potential. It is a great and rewarding life that seeks to do such. And very little can stand in our way. I tell this story often:

The year was 1985. I was a starting freshman in college. I was taking a major gamble with little money, I borrowed every penny to pay for school, room, and board. I had a very small paying part-time job. I was determined to pull straight As. (I did). I went to school with a few shirts and four pair of jeans my father bought me. I weighed 320 pounds and had a 48 inch waistline.


By March 1987 I had lost twenty pounds without trying because I simply could not afford to eat like I did at home. I wondered what I could do if I tried. My goal was to stop having to buy my clothing in the Big Men's shop and paying 4x the cost of clothes at Kmart, where that Spring I started working. I started dieting in earnest. My friend John talked me into going into the gym and working out with him. The weight began to melt off a few pounds a week at first, but it kept coming.

I tell people it is so true that a long journey begins with a small step. I started the full diet around 300 pounds. After my first week I weighted 299. Not that much difference and it was a hard week. I was not used to being hungry or weak from not eating. It was the worst at night and would remain so. I would tell myself, just suck it up for six more hours. Five more hours. Four more hours. You did it yesterday. You've done it all day. I can do this. I've done it before. And if I give in then I not only loose today, but I might eat enough that I loose the progress from yesterday, and I've worked to hard to get this far. So a little step at a time - I edged closer.

In the beginning I only wanted to loose 30-40 pounds. In the end I dropped all the way to 155. Once I built my habit - personal discipline - and my routine - I could hold. It was hard, but I could hold. I could leverage desire, habit, pride in what I accomplished, new found faith that yes I CAN! It was one of the hardest things I have ever done - but it was doable.

In the beginning 300 pounds looked like a mountain. To loose 150 pounds was unthinkable. I didn't start off thinking I could do this. I learned I could do this. My goal changed as I learned something about what a human being is capable of.

We are capable of throwing away our potential, being our own worst enemies. We are also capable of astounding and amazing personal growth. It's all about our attitude, our willingness to engage and work hard, taking responsibility for oneself and not casting blame or making excuses because of our present situation or what is outside of us (and sometimes even what is part of us).

Human beings can change things. We can change ourselves. We can become the potential we are gifted to be.

But again starting from 300, a small accomplishment, 1 pound, 3 pounds -- seems like such a small piece chiselled from that mountain. A few boxes of little Debbie cakes would have restored the gain quickly. But my discipline was rock hard. I would not be deterred because the path was long. I was walking. I was taking steps. I was gaining momentum. All I needed was time - and that -- that I had in abundance. It took a year. By Christmas I bought myself my first clothing at Kmart - some medium size shirts and size 32 jeans.

That was 23 years ago. That year of investment changed my life. It opened doors to potential growth and service from relationships, employment, military service. It changed my character. This is not the only investment I made in myself - school, relationships, intentional self-development - its a lifetime road. But the point:

If I can do it - so can you. The ability to achieve potential -that is a human thing.

Out and about with my new boss I told him that I loved one part of his introduction speech he gave all the airmen most especially because it is so true.

Life is great when you are working your tail off and having a good time doing it.

I remember going into a restaurant back home and seeing a small child's drawing of a person lettered with these words: "God don't make junk!"

YOU CAN.

You can do anything if you want it bad enough.

Christmas in Osan

Christmas Day has come to Osan. Last night was incredible in many ways. We had a huge Christmas Eve candlelight service which turned out to be packed, every seat filled. We even had the Secretary of the Air Force with us in worship. Service was complimented by a Korean brass quintet and the incredible talent of our own choir. Its was truly a blessing to be here in worship with so many of my fellow airmen that I've gotten to know, though it would have been nice if my family could have been here as well. The Wing Chaplain had us over as well as our Korean guests for soup afterwards, which I truly appreciated as my planned dinner was whatever I could find to warm up.

But today I have a turkey breast I just took out of the oven. I was out late last night, much later than planned after something very important went missing out of my office and I had to see if it could be found, which it couldn't. Sad note an otherwise wonderful Christmas Eve. Had to have conversation with our Security Forces folks as I think someone may have entered my office. But this too shall pass.

Christmas day is a day for some rest. Going to kick back a bit and go to the gym later, after eating some Turkey. And then tonight I'm out and about with our Commander visiting the folks who have to work the holiday. I'm looking forward to this as visitation of this sort tends to be a great deal of fun.

I opened my gifts from family this morning (We are 12 hours ahead of the states). My kids sent me handmade pottery. So I made a cup of coffee with my oldest's gift and have my turkey resting on my youngest's gifts and my wife sent me some great DVDs which will make the weekend pass a bit faster. For being away from family, Christmas isn't going be too bad.

Truth Shines in the Darkness

We near Christmas. I took this picture tonight of the tree out front of our chapel.

Reflecting on today a thought that keeps coming to mind is that truth should win. I've had occasions to say that several times in the past few months. Life can be challenging enough just from the circumstances it can throw your way. As a chaplain I have an opportunity to be invited into the lives of many people who are hurting for a variety of reasons. Sometimes it is plain circumstances that have come together in such a way that options are limited and reality is painful. But other times it is human behavior that is the major source of difficulty. Sometimes truth is hard to swallow. It can be easy to try to locate the source of one's problem in someone else, anywhere else but in oneself, in one's own fallibility. Sometimes I think the hardest person to look at can be ourselves in our mirrors, especially if we bear our soul and character for honest assessment. But such is good for all of us to do, for I am convinced that spiritual growth requires truth including true self-assessment. But it is hard. Far easier is it to assess others.

One part of my spiritual heritage in our Lutheran liturgy has a confession of sins that is very heavy going something like, "I have sinned by my own fault, by my own most grievous fault..." Sometimes that is true and the knowing of it can be a hard thing for a person to face. Far easier to project fault outward and let ourselves off the hook. But such does not bring growth. Part of my job is to try, without being judgmental or hurtful, to encourage people to look for the truth - even the truth about themselves. I don't tell them what that is, but I encourage them to find it for themselves, for the search for truth is deeply private, deeply personal and the most challenging and rewarding journey that can be taken in this life. No one is perfect and no one needs to make a parade of one's faults for the entire world to see laying bear the weaknesses of our lives, but two need to know. One does know, the God who creates and redeems us. And one needs to know, though that one does not always want to know - and that one is the person him or herself. And the most important thing is not to know and understand the faults of another, but to know and understand one's own character, even its failings. Healing and growth only come from true appraisal of one's self.

And there is the flip side. I've worked with folks who were too hard on themselves assuming guilt were no blame can be assigned. Often victimized by life and by others they assume the role of making a victim of themselves as they go on through life. Once again, truth must win. Light dissolves darkness.

I've seen situations where people deliberately distorted the truth knowing what reality was in an attempt to serve themselves and protect themselves, for personal gain. But I've also seen situations where people create a fantastic world and self view, something I think they come to believe, to protect themselves against the darkness of their own weakness. I think we are all prone to this to one degree or another. Casting blame, rationalizing, selective listening -- its all a part of our nature. I suspect we all fall into this at times. But in the end truth must win - for truth is necessary for growth.

The disappointing thing is that people are often hurt by untruths, even the fantasy worlds they build around themselves to explain their lives. They hurt others. They hurt themselves. Abused people often express to me that somehow they feel like they deserve it. People who victimize others often view the person they hurt as the one who is actually hurting them and their own actions as justifiable defense. Some fantasies are extremely creative and you have to wonder if the person sharing them really believes it. Some people do believe it, truly believe they are the victim and don't see at all that perhaps their own behavior is the primary contributor to the problem. In the midst of all these things, each one is unique, it is not my role to play God and tell them what the truth is regarding their behaviors, that is to be the judge of their hearts and character. I try instead to offer observations, ask questions, teach techniques that help a person achieve a clarity of sight and a sense of safety with themselves and with God that all things can be forgiven and healed, so then it is ok, painful yes, but ok, even necessary for the first step toward healing, to look into the mirror. I tell them the truth about God and His love and mercy. I tell them the truth about what is good, right and healthy for human behavior and what is hurtful. But I try hard not to cast myself as superior and judge them. We should judge ourselves, but in truth not fantasy. Truth is a good thing. But it can be hard to accomplish, clear seeing.

So the picture above is very metaphoric for me. It not only visually represents the coming of Christ into the world, the light that shines in the darkness, but also reminds me that darkness is a present reality in this world and the light of truth is necessary that evil shall not win.

The scene above has a beauty because it has promise in the contrast. A little bit of light goes a long way. A little bit of light can warm the deepest darkness. Isn't it amazing that the huge dark night of Osan cannot swallow the smallest little light on a Christmas tree, but these simple little lights shine forth and penetrate the darkness and make something new - something beautiful. Truth is a beautiful thing.

Spicey!

Boxes from home. When we get a box we find a little yellow piece of paper, sort of like our very own "golden ticket" from the chocolate factory. Today's box was spicey!!! Two of my favorite things found at Christmas time. My wife made me some 150 year old spice cake. (Recipe is 150 years old, not the cake - passed down through my mother's family) And Wasabi Pees! Hooah! Spice cake I shared (a little). Pees? Those are mine.

Easier pace today. Boss gave me the day off -though am working a few things for Christmas Eve. And have a "mandatory" military appointment later this afternoon, but it shouldn't take too long.

Plan to do some baking and cooking for Christmas. Have a little turkey to work on and some pumpkin to mess with.

Love My Job

Snow peppered the ground last night and this morning making a nice blanket of white for worship today, though nothing like the snow that has covered the fire hydrant back in DC where my family are. Still we had a good crowd for both of my services today. And the music was outstanding.

I love my job. I had two TDYs this week - one to Kwanju to participate in a memorial service and the other to Daegu for visitation and ministry. Korea continues to amaze me at its beauty. I was reminded in many places of south east Kentucky as we traveled the highways south.

Christmas Eve Worship is looking to be something special as we are bringing in a brass ensemble as well as adding some great music by our own choir. My bosses talented daughters will also be with us.

Speaking of talent, or lack thereof, I was grabbed by members of the PACAF band who were performing in the BX to "play" with them. The instrument of choice: reindeer bells. I was never much one for percussion so who would have ever guessed my debut with the AF band would be on percussion. That's what I get for telling the rest of the brass ensemble that French Horns are the best instrument in the band!

They are by the way! Horns Rock!
Anyway, Christmas Eve is going to be a big production for a number of reasons. Am looking forward to it.

But as I said, I love my job. Sometimes you have to work your tail off, but it is the kind of work that you love doing. In my visitation with my airmen out in Korea I had several opportunities for heart to heart conversation on all kinds of topics. A couple of times people asked me why I would want to be an Air Force chaplain. That is easy. I get to be part of the lives of some of the most hard working, interesting, dedicated, inspiring, intelligent and caring people I have ever known. They invite me into their lives and in times of tragedy I cry with them and in times of joy I laugh with them (and sometimes get laughed at like when I am corralled into getting out on the dance floor - this old guy can't dance.) I am looking forward to getting home though.

My little girl sent me a homemade Christmas card. She told me Christmas would not be the same without me home and then on the back she said she wished all my dreams would come true. Well one won't because I can't be in two places at once, -- but one should -- I'll be home in a month to hug my girls close. But leaving them again will be hard, I suspect harder than the first time.

Off to the gym. That is my major relaxation activity when time permits.

Please look

The experience of serving at Arlington National Cemetery has touched and continues to touch my soul.

Please take a look at these photos: look, remember, and pray.

"Glory to God in the highest heaven,
and on earth peace to those who have his good will!"
Luke 2:14

Wow!

Being as busy as I tend to be these days, the opportunity to catch up more than just a quick survey of the news doesn't come too often. I was aware that some Americans were detained in Pakistan for ties with terrorism, but I was surprised to read this morning that all five are from right in my neighborhood in Alexandria. This is where my family and where my kids go to school for goodness sake! We are only minutes from the Pentagon, the entire Capitol complex, and places like Arlington Cemetery where visitors come and go with little security screening. It would be easy for terrorists to blend into the population there in Alexandria as it is a very diverse population and just about anyone can blend in. I don't envy the job of our law enforcement folks there, but I am thankful for them and for the work that so many do to keep our people safe from those who think God wants them to kill Americans.

Here is the story I was reading:

Fun

Great fun yesterday for the Pearl. S. Buck Party. Had around 100 folks in for the party. Lots of stuff. I planned out and organized the program. We had organized games and a huge bounce castle, which I had to check (when no one was around to see) to confirm it was safe and operational ;) Then we had a great traditional American and Korean lunch with Turkey and Bulgogi and Kimchee. The we had a very sweet young lady play the viola, a bunch of translators who did a skit with the shepherds telling the story (and they really got into it), then Christmas carols lead by my boss who also really got into it and did a great job -- had all the Korean children on stage singing carols in Hangul (Korean), and finally we told the story the Night Before Christmas in Hangul followed by a visit by an extra special Santa who passed out the many gifts donated by the folks here at the Osan chapel community.

Today I will be missing participating in a ritual I've done the past few years. Today they are laying wreaths at Arlington.

Pictures

"Mountains, Gandalf, I want to see mountains and find a quiet place to finish my book." - Bilbo Baggins

I truly enjoy pictures. At the end of a long day, or sometimes series of days, I find relaxation in visiting a couple of sites of photographers from back home in TN. I also enjoy hitting the webcams in the Smokey's. I've seen some astounding photos like the ones here. The mountains have always brought me a sense of peace and fulfillment. Mountains are places of quiet reflection and inner healing. They are places of rest.

So I am looking forward in a little over a month spending some time on a mountain top somewhere, even if it will be winter and cold. I'm tired to tell the truth. Lots of long days. And rather than the need growing less, as I get to know my folks better and they me, I find more opportunities and more things that need doing.

I spent several days this week away down south ministering to some special folks who lost a dear friend. This is exactly the kind of ministry that I came into the Air Force to do. Some days though, I find myself having to weigh the requests and needs and having to tell some folks later or even sometimes no. If I could have anything for Christmas it would be 36 hour days. I did decide tonight to knock off at 1900 because I need some rest. Today we spent a great deal of time in an exercise, but I was able to get a bunch of stuff done even though, which is a good thing. I will be full up from now until Christmas Day. Next week I'll be out and about into Korea for a large portion of the week. This Saturday will be great fun as we bring a bunch of kids to base for a special Christmas party. I really enjoy doing programs like this for the orphans.

But back to my trip to Kwangju (or Gwangju as some spell it). No photos from there this time. It was a rapid notice departure and I didn't have time to grab my camera. I wouldn't have had anythign except I keep a bag ready to go. I did stay at a local hotel (very nice by the way) rather than on base for various reasons and so experienced a part of the city I didn't see last time I was down. Kwangju reminds me of an other developed American city, except I don't understand the language well. Some things are very Korean though.

Entering the room I notice two pair of slippers (Koreans usually do not wear shoes inside the house and a pair of clogs for the bathroom.) The toilet was very state of the art - and I didn't figure it out. It had a control console. The buttons were labeled as to function -- in Korean! So when it came time to have it do what toilets do, I started pushing buttons. The toilet seat rose and lowered, vibrated, heated up, squirted at me -but other than that - making no progress. Finally I see a traditional but very small and tucked away on the back handle for that nice royal flush. I think I need to learn a bit more Korean.

My little girl (my oldest, but I still think of her as my little girl) made me some incredible chocolate coconut cookies, which I grudgenly shared with the office (after I tucked away half the container). They are gone (except for a few I have kept for Christmas day). And my little bit made me some trail mix all by herself. That is about 1/2 gone too. Suffice it to say my diet has suffered just a bit.

Oh, and if you have been following my previous posts - I found them hard to spot and easy to hide elves. Actually corned couple of young ladies into serving for me - and thanks to my wife they even have green and red stocking to wear. (I'm am really glad I got volunteers because my fall back plan was me and I didn't even want to imaging wearing green and red stockings.) Have a bunch of volunteers from linguists to parents to watch over the kids play time, to an airman doing organized games, to a Red Cross rep and his wife serving as the Claus family. There are a great bunch of folks here at Osan. Truly they are a joy to work with.

End Game

As a chaplain I have many opportunities to provide counseling to the people I serve with. Some folks just need someone to bounce an idea off of or need another set of eyes on a problem. Other folks come and talk to me several times as we together engage to bring growth and healing to their lives.

In my divorce recovery group tonight we discussed how to know when it is time to get into another relationship and what are some of the flags that might warn you away from a potential partner. The idea of dating someone in therapy came up to which I shared this idea: most people would benefit at some point in their from seeing a counselor - that is to engage in a deliberate process to develop oneself that is therapeutic (healing). Why? Because we are a fallen human race, we are not perfect, we all make mistakes, and we could all benefit from character and personal development.

That said though, I often share with my counselees that real in-depth self-examination and profound character development can be hard. Many people come to see me because they are hurting and they want to stop hurting. But there are lots of ways you can stop when the struggle is very difficult.

You can quit. Or you can win. Both are ways to stop a difficult struggle. I remember when I started trying to loose weight over twenty years ago now, it got very hard. I missed snacks. I missed sweets. It was hard when I saw other people eating stuff I wanted to. And I was hungry, in real physical pain and discomfort. And I had such a long way to go, starting at 320 pounds. And truth be told, I was a quitter. I had tried to loose more than once. But this time, I had some encouraging circumstances and a bit more maturity and had developed a bit more personal drive and self-discipline. This time I was determined to win. Today I weight 164.

Life is hard. The divorce care program I lead says as one of its tag lines "because life isn't sugar coated". Real life can be hard. But it can also be wonderful. Life can be a struggle. To match our potential is not easy. But when faced with a struggle - you may find yourself asking - will I quit or will I win.

Sometimes quitting can be fatal. I have someone in the family very close to me who fought off lung cancer but only need to quit smoking to probably have many more years. But in that struggle they quit. And the cancer has returned. I've talked with folks who life has beaten up on and they can't see a way past the pain and for them they are close to the ultimate quit. Sometimes to quit a struggle is suicide. Ending can never be the ultimate goal. I always encourage people to see the ultimate goal as victory over adversity.

Sometimes you have two choices - give up or push through. One of the reasons I am a chaplain is because I want to encourage folks to push through. Life can be incredible on the back side of some amazing struggles. And I don't want to ever give evil or the devil an easy win, and that's what we do when we give up and quit whether in be in a personal life or any other level of life. I like systems theory because I see so many things that work a certain way for individuals and couples, also work for organizations, society, and beyond. What's really cool about my divorce care group, is that together they pool their wisdom and their energy to help each other carry through to healing and renewal.

Rocky said it well: "It's not about how hard you hit, but how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward. That's how winning is done."