Green Tights

Green Tights -- gotta have 'em. I'm making elves you see. Yes, I'm a Lord of the Rings fan, connoisseur of the many elves of Middle Earth -- but those ain't the kind I am in need of.

I need the kind that run the pooper scooper behind reindeer, who are really good at editing very long lists and can stand working for someone who is jolly all the time (and I do mean all!).

All in a very cold environment where 1/2 the year the sun doesn't shine.

You see, we have a bunch of kids coming to visit Osan and I need those elves to help pass out gifts.

Elves I got. Tights I don't. So my wife is out and about. If you see a woman carrying green tights around DC -- well now you'll know.