Seasoning

I am growing older.  Last time I had my annual physical readiness review with medical, I told the Doc that I had been diagnosed with OAS and was told it was terminal. He looked up with a serious but puzzled look and said, "I'm not familiar with that".  I shared, "Old Age Syndrome".  His response, "ha, ha" and to go back scribbling notes as he now added an appointment to mental health.  (Just kidding on that last part). 

Old age.  Soon I turn 50.  But like the picture above, it matters in life how you "frame" the experience you are going through (or have or expect to go through).  Of course the picture makes a huge difference too.  How you see that depends on your personality type.  I am very focused on what is real and what is true. There are many types that are much more able to focus on the potential and creativity of the photo.  For example when I edit the photo I look to bring out what I saw.  Others may photoshop it and bring out the "what could have been".  But irregardless circumstances will have limiting factors.  Age is a limiting factor.  But there is a plethora of limiting factors we must deal with.

I was recently selected by the Air Force to apply for a full year of residency for Clinical Pastoral Education.  CPE is an intensive environment for critical examination of one's pastoral skills and interactions with those in need and with those who provide care.  In writing up my application package I began to realize that I have changed a great deal in these past 25 years of my adult life. 

Yep, I am growing older. My run times and recovery times are showing it as well as the wrinkles on my face, the few age spots on my hands, and my increasing population of gray rather than black hair.  But I am also seasoned. All that experience, all the people I have gotten to know, the many different situations I've engaged come together to make these final 20 years or so of my active working adult life to look very much like the picture above.  Full of potential, depth, richness, and possibility.  Yes, I draw nearer to the end with probably fewer days ahead than now lay behind, but they are days that may be richer.  Suddenly a minute, an hour, a day is an extraordinary valuable commodity as it will not come again. 

I'm not sure if I would want to be 20 again with most of my life ahead. 

So I think this time, as I go get my annual physical review I think I can say I'm feeling pretty good about where I am and what the future holds - even if I can't run a seven minute mile again.

Simply Paris

The spring has been busy.  Lot of the normal stuff related to chaplaincy - chapel services, visitation, counseling, and events targeting strengthening resiliency.  Last month was a real treat with the weather and my family was able to enjoy a nice warm week in Paris.  If not for family I probably would never have traveled to Paris. But I found some nice surprises there.  I have admired the grace and simplicity of ancient Greek culture and so enjoyed laying eyes on some ancient Greek sculpture that rests in Paris. 

 There is something about the ancient eternal beauty that communicates through the ages in the marble.  A civilization that laid the foundation for much of western civilization lays in the dust but signs remain of its ancient grandeur.  Signs continue to reside among us not only in marble but in our very values and ways of looking at the world around us and understanding who we are.

Long after the hands that carved these statues, long after people saw the beauty of the world around them and visioned it to recast it into stone, long after the minds that grasped and externalized such truths as "you can't step in the same river twice" have turned to dust - the echoes of truth and what is real remains.

In the white marble carved by ancient hands echoes a reminder, a song, that truth remains - something eternal, something beautiful there is about the world around us.

Notre Dame on the other hand felt dark and cold, hardly the warm welcoming hand of God that I had expected.  Instead it still felt grasped strong in the clutches of old superstition and dogma, a religion of terror and reward based on merit and work rather than of love and mercy.   Outside the cathedral had radiated an inviting pull calling one to come inside.  But so dark, almost oppressive.  The only hint of goodnews in the face of spiritual distress was in the cluster of Easter Lillies still blooming near the altar.

 

In contrast the Pantheon radiated light, but a light of a different kind.  A pro-reason, humanist light.  Monuments to philosophers long and recently dead towered above.  But observing the visitors, I found myself pondering how many can remember even one thing that Voltaire taught, one thing that Rousseau
 believed, or Victor Hugo.  Who can remember without turning to Wikipedia or some such resource?  The influence wanes and turns to dust and all that is left is the marble.

But even in this temple to humanism echoes an ancient simple wondrous truth.  God loves His creation.  God loves His children created in His image.  So much that He Himself took on human flesh and lived among us.  His name was Jesus.  And the simple clear truth that echoes across the age is still heard amongst the noise and confusion of the world.  In Christ there is mercy.  In Christ there is forgiveness.  In Christ there is love and eternal life.  Time does not win.  Decay does not win.  Death does not win.  Easter Lillies in the darkness of Notre Dame and an old painting remaining in the Pantheon remind us that He is risen and now reigns and He shall come again.

50 million dead

Estimated 50 million dead children.  39th Anniversary of Roe vs. Wade.     Is this really what we want?  Really?

Skyrim - metaphor for life

Dragons are invading the land.  People are dying.  Lives are being consumed.  What to do?


I received Skyrim for Christmas.   While I like fantasy literature, I've never been a big fan of fantasy role playing games, but I like this game because it is so much like life - it is open ended and not scripted; its progress depends on the choices you make.  Skyrim looks to be an interesting gaming experience.

Like life.


This is a game with a major crisis- dragons are invading the land.  And you find yourself in a politically divided environment and are asked to take sides.  You can choose the noble road and make ethical decisions.  You can play as a thief.  You can even play as an assassin and murder. There are skills and talents you are born with, some that you can learn, all that you can develop  but like life you must chose which ones to focus on.  You can play the game and become a great character, a hero, or you can avoid the main quest completely and only play the side line quests.  You can focus on becoming rich and buying lots of houses and you can focus on serving the need of the community by tackling the crisis.

Like life.

When we enter the world of adult life we find ourselves with lots of choices to consider.  We have a life to build, a character to develop.  We are all talented at something, usually more than one something.  Even those of us who have struggled through school, whose life experience as a teen was not that great, who people would describe as not having much going for us, do have something going for us.  Every human being is gifted.  We are not all good at everything, but everyone is good at something.  It may be mostly potential, but it is there.

As we stand on the landscape of our life looking at the world around us waiting to be discovered we realize that in the unknown there is an element of risk and danger.  Will we step forward into the world with courage or will we be timid?  Will we go out looking for the opportunities and the treasures for the world is full of them?  Or will we stick to the well traveled roads and the path of mediocrity?

As we progress through life, it won't take long to realize there are many problems and crises in the world around us that we can become involved in.  In Skyrim you can learn a spell that will heal others.  (And yourself).  It is a valuable lifeskill to learn how to heal from wounds both physical but more often of the heart and soul for life has a way of wounding us, sometimes at our core.  But there are those who develop the skills to reach out and heal the hurting around us both in body and in spirit.  That is a noble life road.

And like the game, you can choose to play as a very noble person, or you can become a very bad person or something in between.  It is one thing to be a thief and make your way sneaking, taking advantage of others, and stealing anything you can.  But in Skyrim, even the noble person can take advantage and pocket a stolen trinket or two when people aren't looking without getting in trouble with authorities.  Like life.  But unlike the game, when you steal or take advantage of another person it is not just an electronic avatar that will respawn fully whole later.  When we take from others we diminish them; we hurt them.  

Will we play the game of life in such a way that we add to life or diminish it?

And what shall we add?  Shall we focus on treasures and houses for one can ignore the greater quest of Skyrim and focus on looting ancient halls and accumulating gold to purchase houses and jewelry and clothing?  In our own lives which will dominate our time and energy, our focus?  Will we focus on personal riches or will we utilize the things of the world as tools to enrich life and not only our own?  Will we own the temporary things of the world and utilize them to enhance lives or will the things of the world own our temporary lives and consume our days upon this world?

And the world we find ourselves spawned into is a world in peril.  It is filled with glories to be discovered but some fairly rough places too.  It is filled with places where people are dangerous.  There are real life monsters waiting to consume other out there.  There are factions trying to buy your allegiance for their own gain.  Will you become a pawn in someone else's game of life or will you think for yourself and make your choices, choose your friends, and  determine your allegiances based on life enhancing values?  Even in my middle years, half-way through my game of life, I find these questions worth pondering and reviewing.  Perhaps I need some course corrections.

What sort of character will we become?  Have we become?  What course do we choose now?  


Will we dive into the deepest challenges of life where the greatest risk is, the greatest effort required, but where we are called to become the noble hero?  Or will we stick to the side games - the safe areas - but the mediocre parts.


But finally we realize too that a video game is unlike life in that in the game every person who plays can become "the hero", the savior of the world.  In Skyrim an ordinary person happens to be born with a talent that in the midst of this crisis can lead him or her to become such a savior.  


Some people are a bit more gifted in some areas than others.  Sometimes you see someone who is a master, who naturally gifted has developed that gift to extraordinary levels.  Most people are on similar skill levels to others.  And life situations impact our choices, the scope of our ability to make impact.  Some people find themselves due to forces beyond their control (and sometimes due to constructing a path) at the center of influence points in life and able to rise to positions of great influence. The story of President Obama is such an example.  Or Hillary Clinton or George Bush.  


Almost everyone will never be president.  But I believe that there are many people out there who are gifted and if given the opportunities could have been as good as or indeed better in their service than those who have come before.  We are limited to the choices the game of life hands us, but looking at great people we realize that there is an element for shaping our own path and destiny.  When we strike out with purpose, courage, and informed decisions we can shape our own destiny.  

And just maybe you will find yourself in a place where for another person, another group, who knows maybe a nation - you could be a hero for a danger has arisen for which you are gifted.  But to become the hero, to help others, will entail personal sacrifice, a choice to develop your character and your skills to tackle the problem, a choice to devote yourself to the service of others.  

The world is full of problems.  If we look we find that we have talents inside us waiting to be developed and applied to help make life better for ourselves and those we live with. 


But we don't have to be president to have a profound influence for the good or for the evil on the world around us.  Especially in our zone of play.  What we do, who we are, how we interact with others - it shapes not only our life but the lives of others.  




How shall we play? Will we play small or large?  Will we spectate?  Or will we take the risk, dedicate the effort, and for someone become the hero?

As the Iraqi war comes to an end I hope we are coming closer to a dream fulfilled and that is to walk through the streets of my previous deployed location safely with my Iraqi friends to enjoy some local food and cha.  It has been a while since I was in the desert and this has been a long conflict.  So much has been accomplished but the Iraqi people still have a long road ahead.  I have lots of feelings and opinions as I read the commentaries, the speeches, listen to the increasing chorus of criticism directed toward the military in some circles concerning the tactical engagement of the war.  But number one in my thoughts and concerns are my Iraqi friends.  I pray for them that they keep growing and know peace, prosperity, and justice.  My Iraqi friends were somewhat different from me in culture and some beliefs.  But they were also very similar.  They loved their country.  They loved their families.  They, like the rest of us, wanted to live life at peace and to have good things for the ones they love.  They had put on the uniform of military service to help secure that.  I haven't had any contact with them over the years since I left Iraq, but they are still in my prayers.  I may never go back to Iraq, but for a period of time I lived there, made friendships there, and like hundreds of thousands of others, contributed a bit to the future of a people and a nation.  I may never go back, but Iraq will remain part of who I am and I will remember and pray for my friends.

Remembering.

An entire generation moved to commitment, valor, sacrifice, triumph, and victory.  Our nation was changed.  Our world was changed.

December 7, 1941.  Pearl Harbor day.  A day worthy of remembrance.  

A generation worthy of emulating.

Sept 11, 2001.

A day of of hatred.  A day of tragedy.  A day evil struck.

A day worthy of remembrance.  Again our nation was changed.  Again our world has changed.

Will we be a generation worth remembering, worthy of emulation?  

Are we committed to valor, sacrifice, triumph, and victory?

Will we remember and be moved? 

Change: Re-formation

There is always change.  My recent trip to the European mainland to Wittenberg Germany on the anniversary of the Reformation was quite remarkable and moving.  Perhaps this trip combined with other recent events such as my mother passing away, had me thinking about the power of change and resilience which is the ability to bounce back and keeping moving onward in the midst of challenge.

One of the many things I admire about the Reformer Martin Luther was his resilience.  Early in the Reformation he didn't have much to hang his hat on for the sake of his personal security.  Indeed, his own core beliefs were changing so fast that I suspect one reason he was such a prolific writer was it helped him to make sense of them and keep them centered on the truth of Scripture.  He had powerful enemies in the Pope and other leaders of the Roman Catholic church whose main approach to dealing with his challenge being to call for his life.  Marriage brought a great many other changes to Luther and when his daughter died it broke his heart.  But he remained unwavering through his life to what was right and good and to living.


There is always change.  The ancient pre-Socratic philosophy Heraclitus in discussing the relationship of permanence (which we all crave) and change suggested we "cannot step in the same river twice".  Time flows.  The world changes.  We change.  


As we grow older there is much change we cannot control but there is also much that we can influence.  For example as our bodies grow older what that means can be heavily influenced by choices in diet and exercise.  Our minds as well.  We can sit and just let how we approach life be largely out of years of habit.  Or we can from time to time engage why we are doing what we are doing and what we hold dear and reassess our values, beliefs, and goals to see if perhaps they are in need of a re-formation.

Some of us resist changing our beliefs because it sounds too much like the radical liberal clarion call that traditional values are enslaving and change that abandons the past is necessarily liberating and progress.  But as Luther showed us, sometimes reaching back to the foundation can help us get our life (and sometimes our society) back on a better course.


There are some changes that change us.  They come unexpectedly. We fall in love.  We loose a loved one.  We are diagnosed with an illness.  We are attacked by an enemy.  Our situation alters in a substantial way.  

Such change, when associated with loss or threat, can illicit some powerful negative emotions.  It is telling that of the four major emotions (mad, sad, scared, glad) three of them are negative.  Change can make us fearful, sad and depressed, and even angry.  Emotions can be powerful motivators in our lives for actions which bring on further change, not all of them good.  I believe it wise when we become conscious of a major change in our lives that find us with these powerful emotions, that such is a time at the beginning of our response to not just put our feelings into it, but to think about our feelings, to think about our new situation, and to think about where we want the situation to go.


I find in these situations reaching back to my core - to my foundational beliefs - helps me to sustain what is important and vital in the midst of changes. 


It can be easy to drift from our core beliefs and identity as strange as that might sound.  By Ortega Gassett tells us, "I am myself and my circumstances."  Circumstances go a long way in making up the stuff of our lives and when we have lived in a set of circumstances long enough, perhaps some aspects of who we are have not been utilized or were set aside for a time and now out of habit they have grown rather dusty.  


I will confess that in Wittenberg I began to think of how my Lutheran core beliefs had grown just a bit dusty in my almost 7 years as a military chaplain.  While it is a good thing that I've added many new tools to my "toolbox" to care for folks and I work in a wonderful diverse environment, it was good to be reminded of the hope that is found at the heart of the Reformation and that this hope is central to my life:  Salvation by faith alone, as declared in Scripture alone, received as a free gift of grace alone, because of what Christ alone has done in his death and resurrection.  I had began to think of myself as an "Air Force Chaplain" which I am and hopefully will remain for I love this job.  But I am reminded that I am also a Lutheran pastor and my job is not just a job - it is a calling.  When you are not all that special and you are surrounded by some very talented and dedicated folks it is easy to forget that one is called to a special task, not because of being better or superior.  But God gives us all a vocation because He creates us all with unique gifts and talents and calls us to place those in service to one another and just to ourselves.  



These past few weeks have been time of reflection, re-formation.  Touching my roots.  Thinking of my present.  Preparing for my future.  Taking stock.  Being thankful for what remains and aware that all things change and some of them should be relished while they are present.

A Rose is Fallen

The Reedy's and the Lester's have inhabited the Appalachian Mountains for hundreds of years.  Near the town of Richlands Virginia, where my father was raised and where my mother met my father, rises a small creek that meanders its way through Southwest Virginia into Tennessee and past the Kmart where my mother worked and retired.  It is along this creek, Reedy Creek, that my favorite place to run is found, the Kingsport Greenbelt.  It was here that I gave my mother her last rose.  I had collected one perfect blossom from her graveside as we laid her to rest at the foot of "her mountain" in Tazewell Virginia, where she was born and raised.  I committed that rose to the waters of Reedy Creek as the day before we had committed her body to rest in the ground at the foot of those enduring mountains to await the promised resurrection of our Lord.

My mother passed away on Sept 13th.  She went quietly and gently and I am thankful for that.  

There is a tradition in my family that started with my mother.  She didn't get her first full dozen roses from my father until she had a baby.  And when I was born he gave her another dozen.  In keeping with that tradition I never gave a woman a dozen roses until my own wife had our first child.  

I was home in July to visit with her.  Somehow I knew in her voice could be shorter than it appeared.  I trimmed her bushes back and in so doing found a Rose bush Dad had planted many years ago.  It had a beautiful pink blossom on it.  I cut this and took it inside for her. 

My mother was a simple woman with a simple and solid faith and lots of determination.  I have told my daughters it is not wrong to be stubborn, as long as you are stubborn about the right things.  My mother was a person who was about right things.  She spent her life caring and providing for her family.  

A rose if fallen.  Perhaps in the metaphor of a cut rose there is a truth to behold.  For the roses we give are cut from the vine and we know their beauty lasts only a brief moment.  But we hold them and appreciate them while they are here and treasure the memories when they are gone.  But back to that pink rose I gave Mom from Dad's rose bush.  The rest of the story is that he tried several times to eliminate that bush as it was a wild rose bush.  But it kept coming back.  

There is a great truth.  Death does not get the final word.  God does not permit it.  His Son defeated death and His resurrection is his sign and seal of a promise.  Eternal life.  Redeemed life.  New creation.  I look forward to it.

The words of her favorite hymn capture her hope and faith.    I remember her and Dad singing this on road trips and in church.  

There is coming a day,
When no heart aches shall come,
No more clouds in the sky,
No more tears to dim the eye,
All is peace forever more,
On that happy golden shore,
What a day, glorious day that will be.

What a day that will be,
When my Jesus I shall see,
And I look upon His face,
The One who saved me by His grace;
When He takes me by the hand,
And leads me through the Promised Land,
What a day, glorious day that will be.

There'll be no sorrow there,
No more burdens to bear,
No more sickness, no pain,
No more parting over there;
And forever I will be,
With the One who died for me,
What a day, glorious day that will be.

What a day that will be,
When my Jesus I shall see,
And I look upon His face,
The One who saved me by His grace;
When He takes me by the hand,
And leads me through the Promised Land,
What a day, glorious day that will be

Eleven Bells Nine Petitions, A Prayer for September 11

      THE FIRST BELL

The First Bell is a call for silence and remembrance.

      THE SECOND BELL

Lord, with this second bell we call upon You to remember the families of those who lost their lives at the Twin Towers in New York City.  We give thanks for the heroic sacrifice of fire fighters, police and other first responders who thought more of saving the lives of others than of their own.  We ask you mercy on those who grieve this day family and friends killed ten years ago today in New York.

THE THIRD BELL

Lord, with this third bell we call upon You to comfort the families to those killed while on duty in the Pentagon.  They died at their post defending the security of the nation they loved.  So we call upon you to pour out your love upon those who mourne their passing this day.

THE FOURTH BELL

Lord, with this fourth bell we give you thanks for the heroes who sacrificed their lives to save others in taking back their plane.  Later today the remains of those who died in a field near Shanksville PN will be laid to rest.  Bless this hallowed ground and comfort all who mourn.

THE FIFTH BELL

Lord, with this fifth bell we ask your mercy for the thousands of men and women who went forth to defend freedom but who would not return see their families and friends again.  This day as we recall the price for liberty we ask your mercy be upon grieving wives and husbands, daughters and sons, mothers and fathers and all those who mourn the loss of our  fellow warriors. 

THE SIXTH BELL

Lord, with this sixth bell we lift up all those who at this moment are in harm’s way, separated from family, enduring hardships, standing the line between evil and freedom.  Protect our fellow soldiers, airmen, sailors, marines, and all who have gone forth for our nation’s defense. 

THE SEVENTH BELL

Lord, with this seventh bell we ask your blessing upon our friends, our allies in these past ten years of war.  Be with the families of these noble warriors who have fallen in battle.  Prosper these peoples that may ever know justice and liberty.

THE EIGHTH BELL

Lord, with this eighth bell we pray for our leaders in these difficult and troubled times.  Grant them wisdom and knowledge to know the right course.  Grant courage and resolve to pursue and lead us to accomplish it.

THE NINTH BELL

Lord, with this ninth bell, we pray for nation the United States.  In this time of war and struggle we pray for our survival and our prosperity.  We pray that through Your divine providence we might remain a land were freedom and justice reigns supreme.

THE TENTH BELL

Lord, with this tenth bell, we bow and pray as you command, and we ask your blessing upon our enemies.  We pray that hardened hearts and minds might be softened by love and moved to mutual respect and understanding that the day might come when we might know peace.

THE ELEVENTH BELL

With this eleventh bell we pray in silence...and remember.       (bell fades – AMEN)

Invocation

O Almighty and gracious God,

Move our spirits and minds today to profound remembrance on this tenth anniversary of 11 September 2001.  We remember the tragic and dreadful images of that day:  people jumping to avoid fire, crumbling towers, a burning   pentagon, and a smoking crater in what should have been a quiet field in Pennsylvania.  We are humbled by the reality of what is possible in this world and so we ask for your grace, your guidance and your blessing.

Bless the families of the 2,977 people killed ten years ago today.  Comfort all for whom this day is a day of deep sorrow and loss. 

We remember the selfless sacrifice of  New York Fire fighters who ascended buckling staircases  into the flames to rescue who they could.  We remember New York police officers and Port Authority Officers who lives were sacrificed.  We remember those killed on duty at the Pentagon.  And we remember the innocent victims, including 8 children,  whose aircraft were turned into instruments of death.  We beseech your blessing for their families as they too remember.

And Lord we are especially humbled by the  heroes of flight 93 who took back their plane and sacrificed their lives in a field in Pennyslvania that no one else should die. 

For no greater love has anyone than to lay down his life for his friends.

Humble us.  Instill in us such a spirit of courage and resolve as we not only look  back, but forward.  For …

We remember not just the first day but each  day of these past ten years in the long war on terror.  We pray for the families who have received into their hands a folded flag following a bugle’s hallowed call signaling a nation’s tribute  and sadness at a warrior’s death.  We pray for the wounded in body and the broken in spirit.  We bow our heads and remember the cost to defend liberty.  Bless all for whom this day is day of deep grieving. 

Shelter all who are in harms way.  Uphold all who have stepped forward and given oath to defend freedom. Grant us resolve and endurance. 

Most of all we pray for the transformation of hearts and minds from hatred and fear to love and understanding.  we pray for peace. 

Send us forth to serve. Watch over our forces in battle, watch over our families in our absence, and bless America and her allies that we remain faithful and true to all that is good and just.

In the name of the One True God we pray… Amen

Invocation

Sept 11 Ten Anniversary Remembrance Ceremony

RAF Alconbury, United Kingdom

501st Combat Support Wing
September 11, 2011

Benediction

O Almighty and gracious God, today as we close our remembrance of this dreadful day on which many things changed, our thoughts and our prayers go out to each and every family member or friend who has lost a loved one in this long war on terror. We recall those who stepped forward and became heroes as they ascended stricken towers to assist the wounded and fearful, many of whom never came home. We remember those struck down where they worked in the pentagon. We recall those heroes who sacrificed their lives in a field in Pennsylvania as they took back their plane. Lord we pray for the families of all those who grieve.

And our thoughts turn not just to that day but to these past ten years. We give thanks for our nations’ heroes who have raised their hand to defend our constitution and our nation. We give thanks for our allies who with us have made great sacrifices in this noble struggle for liberty. And we remember the fallen and their wives and husbands, their children, their mother’s and fathers. We remember the folded flags presented into the hands of loved ones who would rather have back their warrior but never will. Be with these families as they grieve. We remember those who are right now in harm’s way still fighting for liberty against our enemies. We pray for their safety. We pray for success and victory in their mission. And most of all we pray for peace and for the transformation of human hearts and minds from hatred to love and mutual appreciation. But until that day fill us with resolve and endurance to remain steadfast and faithful in this noble struggle until that day of peace comes.

Send us forth to serve. Watch over our forces in battle, watch over our families in our absence, bless those who mourn and bless our great lands.

In the name of the One True God we pray… Amen

Benediction
Sept 11 Remembrance Ceremony, RAF Molesworth
9 SEP 2011